How much would you weigh on another star? The timescale of turbulence and vibration at a star's surface, based on its brightness variations, tells you its surface gravity. If stars had solid surfaces on which you could stand, then your weight would change from star to star. Here we show how much a 75-kg adult would tip the bathroom scale in the surface gravities of three stars. The sun is hotter than a sauna, but don't expect to lose weight there. You'd weigh 20 times more than on Earth. A red giant star (the far-future fate of our Sun, with a diameter about 35 times larger) has a much weaker pull at its surface, so you'd be 50 times lighter.