First dates: It’s not about the place. It’s about the people.

Dinner and a movie. Bowling. Hiking. A cup of coffee. There are so many options for where to go for a first date. But each of them comes with the worry: Is this going to go well?

It turns out location isn’t a dealbreaker, though, according to a new University of Georgia study.

The researchers randomly paired up 200 strangers in two different first date environments.

One room was adorned with comfortable furniture, decorations and nice lighting. The other space was completely the opposite: white cement walls, old wooden chairs, and junk lying around.

But the couples who met and talked in the plain space didn’t let that kill the vibe.

“It’s not necessarily the environment where the interaction is taking place that makes the biggest difference, but rather the quality of the interaction and conversation,” said Daisi Brand, corresponding author of the study and a graduate student in the UGA Franklin College of Arts and Sciences. “It might not be how comfortable the space and physical surroundings are, but really how comfortable you make this other person feel.”

Great first dates depend on open, vulnerable communication

The experiment relied on the Fast-Friends Paradigm, a layered list of prompts to get to know someone. With 36 questions ranging from what you like to sing to your relationship with your mother, the prompts helped participants connect in both the comfortable and uncomfortable spaces.

“I think the reason that we didn’t find differences between these settings is because of the meaningful conversations that were happening in both spaces,” said Brand. “Participants reported knowing that they weren’t in an appealing setting, but they still felt close or romantically attracted to the other person.”

"You don’t need a moonlit cafe or magic backdrop to hit it off. A sincere conversation can matter more than the setting.”

—Richard Slatcher, Franklin College of Arts and Sciences

The findings offer hope to people stressing about a first date location. The romance will speak for itself.

“Try to focus less on orchestrating the ‘perfect’ scenario and more on genuinely connecting with the person in front of you,” said Richard Slatcher, Gail M. Williamson Distinguished Professor and adviser on the study. “When two people really start engaging with each other, it seems that the surroundings take a back seat. You could have rose petals and candlelight or fluorescent lights and plain walls — it doesn’t matter that much if you’re both clicking.”

Long lasting connections can form, romantic or not, from good conversation

The study suggests that even if romantic relationships don’t come from first dates, friendships or other meaningful connections still could.

Participants surveyed a month after their first meeting reported feeling fondly toward the person they spent time with, as well as the experience itself, regardless of the space they were in.

“You can take heart that you don’t need a moonlit cafe or magic backdrop to hit it off. A sincere conversation can matter more than the setting,” Slatcher said.

"Stress less on where the first date might take place and try to focus on how you can create a space for openness and vulnerability.”

—Daisi Brand, Franklin College

Still, the setting may quietly shape how the interaction is remembered as strangers who chatted in a more comfortable space wanted to get closer to their partner when reflecting back.

While further research is needed on things like the role of temperature and food and drink, the study provides evidence that a good chat can go a long way.

“Stress less on where the first date might take place and try to focus on how you can create a space for openness and vulnerability through that dialogue,” Brand said. “When trying to form those early steps of closeness and connection, that conversation is so important. Be ready to ask meaningful questions and learn more about this person.”