Young adults say they’re happy with their friendships. So why do so many still feel disconnected?

LAWRENCE — A new study challenges common assumptions about loneliness in young adulthood, finding that feelings of disconnection can coexist with rich, active social lives.
The research, co-authored by Jeffrey A. Hall, professor and chair of the University of Kansas Department of Communication Studies, reveals that ongoing life changes, delayed intimacy and prolonged instability — especially among college-educated women — may contribute to social ambivalence, even though young adults have supportive friendships and strong social networks.
The study, published in PLOS One, is titled “Lonely and Connected in Emerging Adulthood: The Ambivalence of Sociality in a Time of Transitions.” ------ link to: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0334787 -------------------
Hall conducted the research with Natalie Pennington of Colorado State University and Amanda J. Holmstrom of Michigan State University, surveying nearly 5,000 Americans of all ages about their social lives and recent life changes such as moving, changing jobs, starting new relationships or completing a degree.
Most young adults reported being satisfied with their friendships and confident in their ability to make new ones — yet many still reported feeling lonely. The findings suggest that it’s not only the number or quality of friendships that drives social well-being, but how people cope with the turbulence of modern life. Frequent transitions and uncertainty can quietly erode social health, even when surrounded by good friends.
“We wanted to challenge the popular narrative that young people today are disconnected and lonely,” Hall said. “You hear increasingly that young people are untethered and unwilling to connect to one another. Our study found young adults have plenty of friends and social opportunities and are putting real effort into staying connected. It’s not that they’re either lonely or connected — many are experiencing both at the same time.”
The study introduces the concept of “ontological security” — a sense of predictability and belonging that anchors social well-being. Without it, even a full social life can feel fragile.
“When our lives, including our social lives, are more predictable, we tend to feel more secure and purposeful,” Hall said. “Young adults seek connection as they experience the ups and downs of becoming adults — a period of perpetual change that hopefully ends in greater stability. But since the 1990s, trends suggest young people have been delaying big life decisions like buying a home, getting married, or having children, and that delay affects how connected they feel.”
By contrast, study participants who reported the strongest social well-being tended to be older, less stressed and living more predictable lives. Although they had fewer friends than younger adults, their social networks were more stable.
The study paints a hopeful picture of young adulthood not defined by isolation, but by transition. Most young people aren’t struggling to find friends; they’re learning how to hold onto them while adapting to frequent life changes. Their moments of loneliness may not signal persistent isolation, but growing pains — the process of building intimacy, stability and purpose in a society where the path to adulthood is longer and more open than ever before.